Dog Pee! All I can smell is dog pee! I am standing in the middle of my other wise clean house sniffing. Dog pee is not really the issue,
After challenging myself to a 2 hour house cleaning fest that turned into 6 hours. I am trying to rationalize my own self-sabotage. I took an otherwise perfectly orchestrated day and drown it in my own procrastination. Here is my confession, uhhm rationalization:
6 hours cleaning is only one hour for every week you were gone this summer (seems reasonable)
I need to do this first so the school week runs smoother
I couldn’t think straight in all this mess
I needed a day to myself without the kids to get (organized, clean, throw stuff away)
Procrastination is the queenly way to self sabotage your day.
Even if you enjoy your work, family, or life, there are days when it is hard to get your “butt in the chair” to complete the day’s task and move forward on long term goals. According to Codependents Anonymous this is actually characteristic of a low self-esteem patterns of Codependents.
Codependents often have trouble getting started, meeting deadlines, and completing projects.
Guilty! This is why I do not craft any more. Nothing got finished! Cooking is one of the few craft/art things I still do mainly because finished or unfinished you can still eat it. Oddly, I am energized when I do complete the tasks of the day.
Why do I continue with the Self Sabotage?
Fear Plain and simple something about what I need to do, make a phone call, reach out to another blogger or blog page, or tell the truth about something, scares me.
Frustration I do not see a quick way to resolve the issue. I have tried but it is not enough or I don’t have the tools or skills to fix the issue.
Emotional Absorption Something or someone is under my skin and I can’t let it go and I can’t control them/it. It is my my stew for the day. I am going to ruminate on this issue all day to the point that I sacrifice my time and energy to it. That awful dog pee smell!
Weariness Both physical and mental weariness. A clear sign that I am NOT taking care of myself in these areas. Did I sleep, eat, exercise, sit with God today?
Busy-ness: Finally my favorite. Whirling through the house with my vacuum and cleaning rags plus listening to blogging techniques on the Ipod I am working both for myself and the family, uhumm, right?
How to stop the Self Imposed Madness
Fear I often question the sound mind part when I am in the “self sabotage mood”. I lament like David in Psalm 42,
O God my soul is cast down within me!
God has not left me. I left me and decided not to believe God when He states that with Him I have nothing to fear.
Frustration God heard your cry! Take it to Him and move on to the next item. Stomping through your day wears you out without getting the work done.
Let it Go and Let God
My personal favorite, NOT! If he, she, it, they could just do… my life would be smooth. As a recovering codependent I want to fix it. Whatever it is! Wasting my life fixing others is playing God.
I can not, He can, So I will let him.
Priorities! I can’t care for others, if I am not caring for me.
With young children my favorite part of the day is tucking them in at night and knowing God is in control. The Kingdom of God is still well even if my day erupted and priorities needed to shift to accommodate the issues of the day.
Working from the family home only compounds this problem, the problem of Self Sabotage through procrastination. I am often in denial when it comes to prioritizing my day. There is always something, laundry, dishes, a child’s room that needs a deep clean or at the very least a junk drawer. Did I pray? What was God’s direction for my day
More Queenly Solutions to Self Sabotage
Coffee with Candice; Prioritizing – About Values and God’s Prioritizing in Our Lives
Get a Blogging Schedule from Becky and Paula– practical advice. Without it blogging can absorb more of you life than a day job!
Modern Procrastination- Seth Godin– You could always check you email.
Procrastination A Recovery Perspective– Living in self- imposed pain.
Mom’s Guide to Re-Dreaming Their Lives You love them will all your heart, now how do you also chase your dreams?