I am Not My Addiction: God Says I Am

I am not my addiction.  I am a child of God.

Hello, My name is Tanya and I am a codependent.  Hello, my name is Sally and I am an alcoholic.

Phrases so iconic in our culture that anyone can finish the sentence for you.

God never design me to be anything but his child.  When my struggles define me, I need to refocus on Him.

(Living with an addict is too hard for most of us.  Do you need an addiction intervention specialist?)

Why Defining Myself As My Addiction Kept Me Stuck (Pin for Later)

I love my Al-Anon home group. This kind group, mostly women, allowed me to grow, process out loud, cry openly and fall asleep during 13 years of meetings.  I grew and grew and grew with this group close beside me.  Thank you, thank you, thank you for just showing up.  For holding me accountable, for holding my boys when a sitter was out of the budget and for welcoming me back each time I slipped away.

I learned the meanings of new words: codependency, addiction, disease, double winner, self-soothe and a board list of slogans to apply to my life.  I also learned that I am the cause and the answer to my own pain. Al-Anon taught me clear hard truths about myself and my family and friends.  None more freeing or harsher than the one below.

If I have to wait for someone else to get sober for me to be happy, it will be a long wait.

In the twists and turns of my recovery from codependency, rage, depression, and unworthiness, I need to claim and own my part in my relationships.  The actions and thoughts in my life were mine alone.  No one caused me to behave the way I did or chose the specific people I placed in my life.  In Al-Anon, I learned to claim my part and my power in the creation of my relationships and my life. One way to know if you are a rescuer is to look at your bank account.

I happily introduced myself as my addiction, “Hi, I’m Tanya a codependent, rageaholic, depressed person.” In God’s timing, as I learned to accept the imperfect difficult parts of myself, He began to show me something else.

God began to whisper; you are not just these things.  I created you in my image, a beloved child.

Who God Says I Am

As I grew in the Lord and recovery, taking ownership of my life, new doors opened.  My husband and I got the chance to be part of our churches start up Celebrate Recovery group.  Celebrate Recovery is a worldwide Christian recovery group that places Jesus Christ in the center of the recovery process.

Ah Ha!  My “higher power” as the AA and Al-Anon community term it, always centered on Jesus.  My infancy in recovery led to a more mature understanding of God.  Now God called me to step out of naming myself into the names He created especially for me.

Celebrate Recovery taught me; I am part of God.  I am a divine child of God who struggles with codependency, anger, depression and relationship addiction.

I am

I am alive with Christ (Ephesians 2:5).

I am free from the law of sin and death (Romans 8:2).

I am holy and without blame before Him in love (Ephesians 1:4; 1 Peter 1:16).

I have the peace of God that passes all understanding (Philippians 4:7).

I have the Greater One living in me; greater is He Who is in me than he who is in the world (1 John 4:4).

I have no lack for my God supplies all of my need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19).

I can quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one with my shield of faith (Ephesians 6:16).

I can do all things through Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:13). 

I show forth the praises of God Who has called me out of darkness into His marvelous light (1 Peter 2:9).

I am God’s child for I am born again of the incorruptible seed of the Word of God, which lives and abides forever (1 Peter 1:23).

I am God’s workmanship, created in Christ unto good works (Ephesians 2:10).

I am a new creature in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17).

I am a spirit being alive to God (Romans 6:11;  Thessalonians 5:23).

I am a believer, and the light of the Gospel shines in my mind (2 Corinthians 4:4).

I am a doer of the Word and blessed in my actions (James 1:22,25).

I am a joint-heir with Christ (Romans 8:17).

I am more than a conqueror through Him Who loves me (Romans 8:37).

I am an over comer by the blood of the Lamb and the word of my testimony (Revelation 12:11).

Choosing to Believe God

Despite my daily mistakes, I am wonderfully and fearfully made in the likeness of God. Guess What?  Jesus still sees me as the vision of holiness he made me to be at the time of creation.  Holy meaning set apart, consecrated for God’s purpose alone that no amount of earthly struggle or stain can remove from me.

Doing life without My Addiction

Doing life on life’s terms is still a struggle sometimes. I must constantly remind myself of what God says about me not the world.

Just the other day I caught hold of the words in my head. Those are ugly nasty words to say about anyone.

It is time for you to get off this bus I told all those thoughts in my head. Then I read the scriptures about who God says I am.

I am a beloved child of God made in his image. I do struggle, my struggles shape me. My addiction struggles do not define me.

Nor do struggles define you. Say it with me

Hi I’m _______ a dearly loved and wanted child of God. God wrote your name in the plan of his hand. He will never forget you, I promise. Better yet He promises.

John 14:18

 

“I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.