Direct your thoughts and your actions will follow a great phrase for meditation. The elegance of Step Eleven lines us up with true north. A trinitarian grouping of three distinct actions. Prayer and meditation Improved relationship with God Knowing and Doing His will for me Oddly, making sure my husband, kids, and community do the right…
Al-Anon
How I Came To Believe- Step 2
Came to believe a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity. By far my favorite Step, Step 2 bounces around in my brain on a daily bases. The promise I yearned to accept! Sanity! Sanity! I wanted sanity and serenity. A blogger friend of mine later created the term Serantity. Serenity and sanity together Seranity. I…
Are You Powerless in Your Life- Step 1
Ah the feeling of being powerless. Love it just love it-not! It is an acquired taste at best for a person that struggles with codependency. Here we go! Step 1 Came to believe we were powerless over_________ and our lives had become unmanageable . What does powerless mean? Powerless /pou(ə)rləs/ adjective …
I am Not My Addiction: God Says I Am
I am not my addiction. I am a child of God. Hello, My name is Tanya and I am a codependent. Hello, my name is Sally and I am an alcoholic. Phrases so iconic in our culture that anyone can finish the sentence for you. God never design me to be anything but his child. When…
12 Step APPs Work the AA Twelve Steps on Your Smart Phone, Read This!
The last thing I want, after I hop into my cozy bed at night to do my daily 10th step work, is to have to get up and look for my pen and my journal. Uggh, it is cold here at night in Colorado 9 months out of the year. These 12 step apps simplify…
So You Married An Addict
Realizing you married an addict brings about a host of emotions. My first thought was I can handle this. We just need to get him to a counselor and an AA program. Secondly, I can love away the hurts of his past life and the addiction will go away. Truly, my all time favorite is,…
What to Do When Your Spouse is Hiding Money
I remember sitting in my Al-anon group trying to get my head around my spouse hiding money. I just could not think through this on my own. Thank you to everyone who showed up that night and every Thursday night to help me process my hurts, habits and hang-ups. The Pay Check That Never Made…
What Happens to the Family Money When the Addict Gets Sober?
What happens to the family money when the addict gets sober really depends on each family. In Alcoholic Anonymous, the Wives Chapter puts the active addict situation this way: “There was never financial security. Positions were always in jeopardy or gone. An armored car could not have brought the pay envelopes home. The checking account…
Dear Wife of An Addict
Dear Wife of An Addict, Did you just lose another battle? One more push for change to control the use/abuse of a substance/lifestyle. You timed it perfectly, your argument for stopping the behavior was well thought out and rational. Anyone could see that his behavior was/is killing the family and himself. Why won’t he listen…
So You Married An Addict: Part 2 Self-Care
So you married an addict now what? Is this it for the rest of your life? No, as destructive and crippling as addiction is, whether it is alcohol/drugs, sex, relationships, work, shopping or food, there is hope. As you stare at your wedding bands, the promise of love for a life time, realize you are…