Kid tested holiday stress relievers that really work are modeled by our children every holiday season.
So, be a kid. Kids do one thing at a time. They stop what they are doing to pay attention to others. They don’t get so caught up in the To Do List they forget about people.
Three Main Absurd Holiday Stress Reliever Rules
- Do one thing at a time
- Pay attention to people over things
- Make sure to take care of yourself
All children do this automatically. They may shift activities quickly but they are totally engrossed in the Lego set, doll house, or TV program that is in front of them. The same holds true for people who give a child there attention.
The child is not distracted by their To Do List while having a conversation with a friend or relative.
Finally, a child takes care of themselves. Our little people know they need food, rest, play, quiet and connection with others.
As we turn into adults we somehow believe or a least project that we are tireless machines that can do without all these necessary life givers.
Pay Attention To Others Right Away
We learned this when our boys were little. If we spent the first 20 minutes of each day doing an activity of the boys choosing, we as parents were much more likely to get cooperation later.
Their little love tanks were filled by those 20 minutes.
A hug and a smile go a long way to relieve frustration.
How This Works As a Holiday Stress Reliever
Example: Aunt Edna walks into the kitchen and really wants to talk while you are building the holiday meal.
Your thoughts, “grrr, I don’t have time for this.” Do what a child would do stop, turn and give Aunt Edna your full attention. Maybe even sit down with her.
In less than 10 minutes, I guarantee Aunt Edna will say “I know you are busy here, I will just go on into the living room. Or can I help with something? Or thank you for inviting/visiting/talking with me.” –a simple 10 minutes well spent and exactly what a child would do.
Complete attention on the person for a short time often pays off. Adding a hug and a smile will go a long way to relieve frustration for both adult and child.
Pair Odd Things Together As A Holiday Stress Relievers
Children often pair odd things together–macaroni with peas in it, half a mermaid costume with a batman mask. Do this with Holiday planning.
Example: My husband struggles with getting a Christmas tree.
Trying memories of years past haunt him as we head out into the Colorado forest to cut down a tree.
To combat this internal emotional struggle, we harvest the tree on the same day as the church Christmas potluck.
Fat and happy, filled with warm conversation and good food, we tromp into the wilderness to cut down a tree.
The blending of the two events runs off the old stressful memories and the late afternoon sun means we can’t spend to long on this simple task.
We normally are headed home with Christmas tree strapped to the top of the car in 20 mins.
Relieve Stress by Going Ultra Negative
We all have them, that relative or friend that is constantly grumbling and complaining.
Nothing ever works out for them and life is always handing them a bag of dog poop.
This Holiday season instead of telling your Negative Nellie things will get better, try going there with her.
Yep, agree with her on everything and make it worse.
Example: Negative Nellie ” I just can’t seem to get ahead of my bills and now it is Christmas and Uncle Whiner won’t help.”
You: “Yep, I bet that is just awful! Will you have to sell the house?”
Negative Nellie “We just might, we just might, to pay off all this debt.”
You: “Yeah, moving to a studio apartment or in with (pick a relative) would really be bad after owning your own home? What if the police get involved?”
We all have a course corrector voice in our heads.
By out “dooms-day-talking” Negative Nellie, her course corrector voice will kick in. She will begin to reassure you that it is not that bad and it will all work out.
Try it. You will be amazed at the results.
Write a Secret Stress Letter
Children often do this with their pictures. Draw or write down what is getting under your skin and causing holiday stress.
Take 10 minutes and write down everything you are thinking. Use a timer, stop at 10 minutes or if you are done before that, stop.
You don’t have to answer the letter or show it to anyone. Just know that the paper is holding all your stress and frustration. This frees your mind to think on other things.
It will still be there in 10 minutes, an hour or three days from now. You no longer have to hold onto the little “ping-pong ball” frustrations that are running through you mind as you wrap the presents or whip the potatoes.
Let it go it! If you need to revisit it later, it is all written down in black and white in your private drawer. This is a life saving technique to teach your kids.
Make sure you and your children have a private safe place to store these thoughts, so you can be totally honest.
Create Distractions or Minor Emergencies to Relieve Holiday Stress
Children are masters of this technique. If a child cannot get your attention when they want or need it, what do they do?
Children act out in the exact ways they understand will get an adults attention–running, throwing, hitting, breaking or just plain not responding.
As an adult, following those exact strategies can cause huge disharmony.
Instead use the more subtle distractions.
#1 A project that must be finished that sends you to your bedroom, laundry room or porch for a few minutes or hours alone to recharge and course correct.
#2 A missing crucial ingredient or present or event that sends you or the rest of the family back to the store and out of the house for a while–alone time.
#3 An important phone call or email or work related trip that creates a little breathing room for you to refresh your soul and continue with the holiday cheer.
Warning: Remember the point of all these techniques is to restore your sanity so you can enjoy the holidays with friends and family and not just to abandon them.
Depression can be an old companion that surfaces this time of year. Look for these symptoms and seek help if you are truly struggling
Believe that Good Food Will Show Up Again
Most children who have grown up with regular meals do not binge on the Holidays. As adults somehow we have gotten the message that if we don’t eat it now, it will disappear.
Yes, my kids want extra dessert or maybe that special candy, but they do not sit at the Holiday meal and gorge themselves until they feel bloated and awful.
Lets face it, Thanksgiving is truly a simple meal. Roast the bird, mash the potatoes, snap some green beans and add water to boxed stuffing,
I have spent hours and days on dinner parties with crazy hard to find ingredients, complicated cooking instructions and multiple pre and post dinner treats. Typical Thanksgiving meals have none of that. Even pumpkin pie is simple.
If we wanted, we could recreate Thanksgiving every week.
The question becomes why binge? Watch the children, eat a regular portion and believe that you can and will eat again.
Mother and children playing football in autumn garden
Now go play with your kids or someones kids and be thankful! That is the best remedy for stress a grateful attitude.
Once again some great suggestions. I will try to remember and put them into practice.