Triggers are the little things that jump under your skin and cause reactions you did not intend. An explosion of anger when you only meant to correct your child gently can send you reeling. These reactions hurt you and your beloved child.
You know how the teacher will appear when the student is ready. Well, here it is, are you ready to move your anger reactions at your children out of your life and respond in an biblically affirming way?
Triggers: Exchanging Parent’s Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses
Tirggers is a fabulous teaching book for any Mom or Dad that find themselves frustrated at their children. Divided into two sections:
External Triggers: Our children are divine creations of God with their own minds and actions. As parents we are a guide to their choices, desires and development. The first section speaks to biblical responses to behaviors such as tantrums, sibling rivalry, back talk and video game addiction. These things all happen around us and affect the way we parent.
Internal Triggers: Our own internal voices that say “why can’t they”, or “I was raised differently”, or “I am failing at this”. The second section of the book addresses these issues. What we tell ourselves about messy homes, in-laws, running late and just plain exhaustion will dictate how we behave.
Listen to this section on back talk:
Since the start of those “terrible twos,” a battle of words has raged between you and them; amongst siblings in backseats, and teenagers with backtalk. It’s your trigger —Kaboom! You bring out the big guns and end the skirmish with a few choice words, because your voice is the loudest.
The problem with this battle strategy is that when we attempt to discipline them with our own aggressive
voices, we usurp the teachable moments. In other words, we steal the show with our own fit throwing. Triggers, pg 18
We steal the show with our own angry fit throwing, huh? What are we teaching our dear little ones?
Our actions speak so much louder than our words. How could this be a teachable moment in our children’s lives and ours? Spending time with my children is so precious, I don’t want to be the angry loud mom. In truth I hold all the power anyway so why am I yelling? Sorting out these feelings comes in the second half of the book.
The internal triggers point to our own fears, hurts, habits and hang-ups as parents. Both parts of the book benefit from the companion piece Triggers Study Guide. The internal triggers REALLY NEED the generous time and space offered by the study guide question and answer section.
Writing down the legacy you want to leave behind for your children and grandchildren will help you focus.
God sees you as a transformed parent, who can do all things through him. He is just waiting for you to see it too and act on it. Writing down a vision of parenting according to God’s plan creates focus. Don’t worry, this is a step by step process in little chunks as you work through the study guide. Each section of the study guide brings the large puzzle of letting go of anger triggers into clearer focus.
Want to know a secret? Most of our angry responses come from an unhealed place in ourselves. We need God to heal these places and trust that He is at work in both our lives and our children’s lives. The great news is He is willing to do that today! Triggers: Exchanging Parents’ Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Response is an awesome tool to move into this space of healing.
Triggers sounds like a much needed guide for parents and grandparents. We adults would probably receive healing and forgiveness of past mistakes we have made with our children as well as avoid future ones. I have no doubt our children would be much happier and become better parents themselves if we read and practiced the ideas you indicate are in the book.
Thanks for recommending it.