How do you even think about admitting our wrongs out loud? How do we even say the truth to ourselves? Here we share our experience with “Step 5–“Admitted Our Wrongs.”
Shining a Light On Our Hurts, Habits, and Hang-Ups
In Step 5 we bring our hurts, habits and hang-ups into the light. By doing this, as Jerry says in the video, “they loose sway over us.”
For nothing is hidden that will not be made manifest, nor is anything secret that will not be known and come to light. Luke 8:17
We admit to ourselves and to God the exact nature of our wrongs. Who is it harder to admit our failures to– ourselves or God?
Shedding light on areas of our lives that we buried for decades begins our grounding in the 12 Steps. As we untangle the perspectives we hold on ourselves, others and the world, we un-cloud the lens of our mind.
This starts the process of “living life on life’s terms”.
Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it.
Serenity Prayer – Reinhold Niebuhr
Admitted Our Wrongs to Another Human Being
According to the AA 12 Steps, we are not fully committed to the program until we bring another person into our place of deepest hurt. “Until we truly confess our wrongs out loud, healing and forgiveness eluded us.”
Forgiveness from ourselves and the realization that God already knew and forgave us at the time of the thought, action or deed changes us.
Admitting our wrongs begins a two-fold process of unburdening ourselves of all the resentments, anger, frustration, hurt and crippling secrecy.
It is those secrets that keep us trapped. Secrets feed our unworthiness developing a sense of shame.
Secrets Make You Sick
We are only as sick as our secrets. The more we hide ourselves, from ourselves and others it limits our ability to heal. Why? Pain causes addiction. Food, work, drugs, sex, or relationships, only cover the pain of life. Numbing out with your addiction, putting the pain to sleep for a while, never releases it.
Step 5 is the doorway to freedom. Confession releases pain. After we release the pain we began to deal with the root causes. Dealing with the root causes opens the door to forgiveness.
Unburdening Your Life-5 Step Five Guide
“Admitted our wrongs to another person.” Whew! Are there things in your life you think are unforgivable. Areas that are so awful you can’t admit to anyone?
In the 4th Step the exercises offered you an option to get these on paper, to get them off the circling gerbil wheel of your mind. By completing the 4th Step you have already completed the first two sections of Step 5–admitting to God and yourself. Congratulations! You are 2/3 done with the process.
Sharing these experiences with another human being might make you nervous. What if they think I am a terrible person? What if they judge me? Worse yet, what if they share this with other people?
Choose Your Sponsor Wisely
I hope you chose a sponsor before you started Step 4. Working Step 4 with a sponsor gives you a chance to get to know them. I put together this guide to help clarify–Sponsorship: What it is and What it is Not.
A little experience goes a long way. A helpful tip is to ask you sponsor and others in the group about their 5th step experience. If you have not watched the video above. Go back and listen to Jerry and my experience. The reward of the 5th step outweighs the fear!