“Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself.” Lots of folks stop here. This means work–lots of work. It is not all bad. Stopping to look over your life will bring up all of it, the good, bad and the ugly.
Courage, my friend, this is where a lot of folks get caught in the 3 Step waltz. As daunting as Step 4 appears, the freedom from waltzing with our own fears, self-doubts and destructive behaviors lies on the other side.
Do you want to be happy, joyous and free? Following the 4th Step worksheets requires time and commitment but doesn’t any goal?
Step 4 starts the action steps. Embrace the fear, I guarantee you will come out the other side refreshed and ready to proceed.
Stop! Get a Sponsor
Maybe you have one; maybe you have been putting this off. Before you start this searching and fearless process, find a sponsor. A sponsor will not do the work for you nor will they judge you. A sponsor comes alongside you to answer questions, hold you accountable for your goals and to help you navigate the Step 4 work.
Finding a Sponsor Sponsorship: What it is and What it is Not
Most likely this means joining a group. As Jesus said we were never meant to do this alone. Real live, in person groups are best. It is wise to find a sponsor you can sit knee to knee with during the next several steps in the process.
We encourage you to join Alcoholics Anonymous, Al-Anon, Celebrate Recovery or the group that fits you based on the 12 steps. Take a look at this quick guide we created Sponsorship: What it is and What it is Not
Be patient, finding a group, and selecting a sponsor takes time. But you can’t find the right one, if you don’t start trying.
One way to vet a sponsor is if they already have what you want in their lives. I looked for a sponsor with 10 years in the program, who had children, a healthy marriage and followed Jesus. Get to know the person a little before and after a meeting. See if this is someone you can work with on tough issues.
The gift of desperation works here, too. 4 Step Four Guide
Searching And Fearless-The Big “Ask”
Finding a sponsor requires that you ask that person. Don’t be intimidated, being a sponsor is an honor. The person you ask may say I have to go home and think/pray about it. See this as wisdom, not rejection. Sponsorship requires time and responsibility. You want your sponsor to review their commitments and make sure they can devote time to you.
Remember why you need a sponsor?
“If we could have fixed ourselves we would have done it long ago.” -Jerry Gioia
Find the person and ask. If that does not work out ask someone else. God will provide the right person.
“And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” Philippians 1:6
Methods for Doing Your Searching and Fearless Moral Inventory
Why Do The Work
AA promises that if you do the work, these things will happen for you. Look at the promises. Do you want this in your life?
- If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are halfway through.
- We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
- We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
- We will comprehend the word serenity, and we will know peace.
- No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.
- That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.
- We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.
- Self-seeking will slip away.
- Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.
- Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.
- We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.
- We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
Remember to download your 4 Step Four Guide